I need to take some time away. How much time I can't say. Things are unbearably messed up in my life right now. I have not really been happy lately, and "just unhappy" has plummeted to a deep depression recently, with the things going on around me that I feel are my fault. Despite knowing deep down I am truly not to blame I'm beating myself up over it all and blaming myself anyway. I am under a lot of stress, things are bad and I don't know if anything is going to turn out ok in the end. But for now I just don't have it in me to keep blogging away like everything is fine.

I will be back eventually, I promise you that. I may make a few random posts here and there if the mood strikes me. But for the most part I am not going to be around. I will try to visit your blogs to keep in touch, but I can make no promises there. I don't make promises if I am not sure I can keep them so I do not want to promise something I may not have the heart to do like visit and leave comments. The only thing I can promise is to try to visit now and then and that I will be back. Your best bet to know when I am back is to subscribe to my blog, so you'll know for sure when I make a new post. Trust me when I say thinking this will only last a few days or a couple weeks at most so just checking here every few days to see if I am back is not going to work out well. Because this is going to be a long break. My saying things are "bad" is an understatement like you wouldn't believe.

I am just going to try to get through things the best I can - but to do that I need "me" time - I need to really think about things that have happened and my role in all of it. I need to reevaluate my life and where it's headed right now. I thought I knew where things were headed... but like being hit with a ton of bricks I've discovered all of a sudden that it's going in a completely different direction, one I don't want to go. And I have some family obligations coming up over the next few months that I need to get through. No matter what happens, I know that when all is said and done I will be moving away from Pittsburgh. I love it here but staying any longer than is necessary right now to finish up these obligations is just not an option anymore, and I can't tell you how much that hurts.

Thank you so much to all of you for everything - you each know what you've done for me (I hope) and I really do treasure the friends I've made here. I will try to keep in touch via commenting your blogs but I promise no more than trying. I hope you can all understand and that you will all be waiting for me when I return.